(To be feared)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
We have found signs of life on another of Jupiter's moons.
This time it is Callisto.
We are still finding signs of life. We see movement on our moniters, but can't seem to pinpoint anything. We're going to go down onto the moon tomorrow and see what there is to see.
We have managed to one up the Alpha Team. We have found life. This time it is not the type of life that will eat us, though. Beta is better than Alpha! Take that you rotting corpse suckers!
We have two specimens on board. We have decided to name them "Snotes". We have found that there are no male and no female of this species, but they do not seem to reproduce asexually. We cannot find any young Snotes. We will study further.
Snotes are allergic to plants. They cough up ugly red phlegm when introduced to leafy greens.
We cannot seem to find what they eat.
Snote Specimen 1 has died. We aren't sure what the reasons are. See the scientists' notes for more informatio. Snote 2 was released and another one captured. We still can't figure out what is keeping them alive and what they eat.
Here is a photograph of a Snote.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Let not the tragedy of Extinction Destroy the Memory of the Relatively Gentle Speen.
We must work together to Save the Speens!
The Speen (Spatium Macropus) is a relatively tame animal. A relative of our own wallaby, the Speen is rapidly becoming extinct due to loss of Space Eucalyptus. What we know of Speens is this: The mother carries the Wee Speen until it is a month away from being pre-mature. She then transfers the Wee Speen into the father's pouch where it is grown to maturity. Essentially, the mother lays in egg in the father's pouch and the father is then responsible for the Wee Speen while the mother basks in the hot springs of Io (their native home) and waits to be fed from their rapidly dwindling supply of food.
Due to the relative laziness of the female Speen, it has been found that male Speens are growing acutely less interested in finding a mate of the opposite gender and spend their days searching for their own food and hanging out around the Male Speen Pools playing a crude form of Space Poker and drinking Fermented Space Eucalyptus Juice (tricksy Speens) instead of taking part in the four (Earth) month long mating dance each year.
A Speen's gestation is approximately twelve Earth months. The Speen Egg is laid in the male's pouch after one Earth month and the rest of the duties left to the father who then raises the Speen to maturity (11 more months, for those of you not counting).
When the Wee Speen finally crawls out of its pouch it takes it thirteen Speen years (partial to a Nano Speen Spherical Fissure Month or 22 Earth years) to reach mating age.
A Speen lives for approximately 98 Earth years.
To summerize: I vote we build a sort of Space Ark to rescue the Speens and bring them to Earth where we will set up a habitat for them in Mauna Loa.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
The Coffee Shop was Owned by a family who changed their name as often as they changed the name of their store (about twice a year).
When I walked in it was crowded, but with no one I knew (though I did recognize a fellow typing on his lap top. I think he lived in the coffee shop during business hours and under a bridge at night, but I wasn't sure. I was also fairly certain he was a pirate). Allyson, the oldest daughter of the family, was behind the counter. The spelling of her name changed almost as often as her family's surname.